i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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