first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
