If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
