All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
