Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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