C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize