toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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