i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize