What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
