I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
