The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
