I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
