I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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