dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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