I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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