How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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