Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
