I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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