i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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