what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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