I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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