party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
