My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
