No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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