actually, I'm a sock model
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was born a porn star she said
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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