is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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