gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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