So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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