Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
