hotel room ftw
I love black thongs
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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