She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
