I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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