By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
