I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
