Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
