Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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