so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
