Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
