yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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