Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
