this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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