I just cut my nipple shaving
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
