you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
