I'm jealous of your bromance
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
