that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
