i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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