He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
