he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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