Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I believe in your delicious
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
