i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize