Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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