Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have started to decorate penises.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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