Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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