It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
