i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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