Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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