Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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