if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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