and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
