I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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