get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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