Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
